Women over 69 need not apply
Women over 69 need not apply.Â
Like countless other fillers- and Botox-peddlers, this skin-treatment company trades in dread, denial, and self-loathing—under the guise of “a new approach to aging wellness.†Wellness my ass.
Hi Ashton, this isn't really a “YITA” question, but I really want to ask your advice. I've started work in a company where the team are in their early 20s (I'm in my early 50s and the manager is in her early 40s).Office banter frequently involves references to age and the downsides of being “old”. Barely a day goes by without some implied denigration of older people. How do I deal with this, do you think? It's very distressing! Thank you for the truly great work you're doing.
I bet it's distressing! Needless, derogatory references to age are microaggressions--indirect, often unintentional expressions of prejudice--and they're not OK. Would sexist or racist banter get a pass? Companies should have zero tolerance for ageist comments too.
It's important to advocate for yourself, and everyone on the team will benefit if you do. Exactly when and how you bring it up will depend on your relationship with your manager, how the team works, how comfortable you feel, and other intangibles. (A search for "dealing with microaggressions" will yield tons of advice, probably more than you need.) Keep in mind that most bias is unconscious and your colleagues are probably unaware of how their behavior is making you feel--not that that gets them off the hook. If the team has weekly meetings, perhaps you could ask permission to bring something up that's making you feel uncomfortable or excluded. Maybe run this past your manager first. Couch your experience in personal terms, perhaps saying that you only learned last week that such-and-such a term was offensive to some people, or recently learned what a microaggression was, or realized you too were sometimes ageist. You could fudge and say you came across my TED talk (or some other resource in the Old School Clearinghouse), that it gave a name to what you feel like you've been experiencing, and ask if the team could watch it together and talk about it afterwards.
You'll be glad you brought their age bias to light, a good manager will be grateful, and unless your team members aren't planning on getting any older, they'll appreciate it too.