pushing back against ageism—which affects everyone
People are happiest at the beginnings and the ends of their lives. The vast majority of Americans over 65 live independently. The older people get, the less afraid they are of dying. Aging is a natural, powerful, lifelong process. So how come so many of us unthinkingly assume that depression, diapers, and dementia lie ahead? That the 20th century’s astonishing leap in life expectancy is a disaster-in-the making? Underlying all the hand-wringing is ageism: discrimination that sidelines and silences older people. So I’ve written a book. I blog about it. I led the team that developed Old School, a clearinghouse of anti-ageism resources. I am the voice of Yo, Is This Ageist? (Go ahead, ask me.) I’ve written a consciousness-raising booklet. And I speak widely. All tools to help catalyze a movement to make discrimination on the basis of age as unacceptable as any other kind.
From childhood on, we’re barraged by messages that it’s sad to be old. That wrinkles are embarrassing, and old people useless. Author and activist Ashton Applewhite believed them too—until she realized where this prejudice comes from and the damage it does. Lively, funny, and deeply researched, This Chair Rocks traces Applewhite’s journey from apprehensive boomer to pro-aging radical, and in the process debunks myth after myth about late life. The book explains the roots of ageism—in history and in our own age denial—and how it divides and debases, examines how ageist myths and stereotypes cripple the way our brains and bodies function, looks at ageism in the workplace and the bedroom, exposes the cost of the all-American myth of independence, critiques the portrayal of olders as burdens to society, describes what an all-age-friendly world would look like, and concludes with a rousing call to action. Whether you’re older or hoping to get there, this book will shake you by the shoulders, cheer you up, make you mad, and change the way you see the rest of your life. Age pride!
Wow. This book totally rocks. It arrived on a day when I was in deep confusion and sadness about my age—62. Everything about it, from my invisibility to my neck. Within four or five wise, passionate pages, I had found insight, illumination and inspiration. I never use the word empower, but this book has empowered me.
ANNE LAMOTT, New York Times best-selling author
Along comes Ashton Applewhite with a book we have been waiting for. Anti-ageism now boasts a popular champion, activist, and epigrammatist in the lineage of Martial and Dorothy Parker. Until This Chair Rocks we haven’t had a single compact book that blows up myths seven to a page like fireworks.
LOS ANGELES REVIEW OF BOOKS
Vibrant, energetic, fact-filled and funny, This Chair Rocks is a call to arms not just for older people but for our whole society.
KATHA POLLITT, poet, essayist, and Nation columnist
Sometimes a writer does us all a great favor and switches on a light. Snap! The darkness vanishes and, in its place we find an electric vision of new ways of living. I want to live in a world where ageism is just a memory, and This Chair Rocks illuminates the path.
DR. BILL THOMAS, founder of Changing Aging
This Chair Rocks is radical, exuberant, and full of all sorts of facts that erase many of the myths and beliefs about late life. As Applewhite defines and describes ageism, new ways of seeing and being in the world emerge, empowering everyone to see things as they really are.
LAURIE ANDERSON, artist
A knowledgeable, straight-talking, and witty book that briskly explains to anyone how-wrong-we-are-about-aging. There’s radical news here to enlighten the most “done” starlet, and tart turns of phrase to captivate the most expert age critic: ‘All aging is “successful”—not just the sporty version—otherwise you’re dead.’ This pithy primer ought ideally to be given to every American adolescent—to inoculate them against the lies and stereotypes that can spoil the long life course they will all want.
Margaret Morganroth Gullette, author of Aged by Culture and the prize-winning Agewise and Declining to Decline
Ashton Applewhite is a visionary whose time has come, tackling one of the most persistent biases of our day with originality, verve, and humor. Her magic formula of naming and shaming may just shake all of us out of complacency and it into action. Whether you relate through being older now or recognize that aging is in your future, this is one of the most important books you’ll ever read.
Marc Freedman, CEO of Encore.org and author of The Big Shift: Navigating the New Life Stage Before Midlife
A smart and stirring call to add ageism to the list of ‘isms’ that divide us, and to mobilize against it. Applewhite shows how ageism distorts our view of old age, and urges us to challenge age- based prejudices in ourselves and in society. An important wake-up call for any baby boomer who’s apprehensive about growing old.
Pepper Schwartz, Professor of Sociology, University of Washington and AARP’s Official Love & Relationship Ambassador
Smart, sassy and oh so wise.
AARP
Finally, a take-down of the last acceptable prejudice. Applewhite eloquently and expertly exposes the structural discrimination that makes growing older so much harder than it should be—not just for the white, affluent, healthy, and able-bodied, but for women, people of color, people with disabilities, and poor people. Full of treasures, This Chair Rocks should be required reading for everyone in aging services, to help us confront ageism in our personal and professional lives and join forces against it. As Applewhite writes, ‘It’s time for Age Pride.’
Donna Corrado, Commissioner, NYC Department for the Aging
An eloquent and well-researched exposé of the prejudice that feeds age bias, and a passionate argument to mobilize against it. This must-read book is also a fun-read for every age.
Stephanie Coontz, author, The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap
To live agefully – what a wonderful word! With warmth, wit and clarity, Ashton Applewhite explains what it means, while never falling into age-denial or age-shame. This is a book packed with provocative and liberating ideas, to make you leap into the air with pleasure – even if your knees, like mine, are a little dodgy.
Anne Karpf, author of How to Age
Here's my latest newsletter, with the updated schedule for my 10-city-and-counting book tour and info about pre-ordering the gorgeous hardcover edition. Celadon Books, a new division of Macmillan will be publishing the book on March 5th, and the tour kicks off at the Barnes & Noble on New York's Upper West Side on March 4th -- also my daughter's birthday. w00t!
What have I been up to? Working on a book tour. Last year I sold the rights to my book, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism, to Celadon Books, a new Macmillan imprint, which will be bringing it out on their inaugural list on March 4th and sending me on tour. Very exciting! I'll be coming to DC, Denver, Seattle, Portland, the Bay Area, Pittsburgh, Princeton NJ, San Diego, and Los Angeles, with a few more cities are still in the works. Here's the schedule-to-date.
I'll be posting about individual events as they get closer, of course, but feel free to mark your calendars and start spreading the word. What I could really use help with is local media. Not pointing out that "You should be on 'Fresh Air'" (although of course I should, but Terry Gross has yet to get the memo), but personally contacting any local TV/radio/print journalists you know and putting in a good work about the book and the mission. If they're interested, let me know (ashton [at] thischairrocks [dot] com) and I'll follow up instantly and very gratefully.
This guest post is by Jeanette Leardi, a social gerontologist, writer, editor, and community educator whose passion for older adult empowerment has led her to anti-ageism activism. It originally appeared on Stria News
Something radical is happening in the civil rights movement against age discrimination. After years of enduring widespread social prejudice, older adults and their generational allies are becoming more aware of grassroots and establishment initiatives to promote aging as a natural and therefore acceptable condition of life, and these efforts are gaining momentum.
Can this anti-ageism momentum last, or will it slowly fade? The answer lies in whether or not individuals, organizations, businesses, and the public as a whole commit to taking long-term action to sustain it.
Any movement aimed at gaining ground over time must rely on individuals who are aware of what they are fighting for and are dedicated to that fight. That means first overcoming ageism in their own minds. “All change starts between our ears,” asserts This Chair Rocks author and Old School clearinghouse creator Ashton Applewhite in a post from her blog. She considers working on one’s own discomfort with aging as the ideal starting point.
Alice Fisher, president and founder of The Radical Age Movement, agrees. “People should not only say their true age, they should embrace the age they are at. Nobody knows what a 60-, 70-, 80-, or even a 90-year-old looks like anymore.”
Visual cues are one thing to consider, but also important is language that promotes ageism. Kirsten Jacobs, director of dementia and wellness education for LeadingAge, says that she “always encourage[s] people to start by noticing language. Removing phrases like ‘senior moment,’ ‘I’m too old for that,’ or ‘100 years young’ from our collective vocabulary will make a huge impact.”
Personal strategies to defeat ageism can be applied more broadly to interpersonal relationships. Marci Alboher, vice president of strategic communications for Encore.org, advises everyone to “[h]ave an open mind about your own judgments. Ageism runs in all directions, so the next time you find yourself discounting a young person for her lack of experience, try to catch yourself. Also, try to find ways to connect across age differences, around common interests.”
There’s a reason why Alboher considers this strategy important. “A big contributor to ageism is age segregation––the separation of generations at home, school, and work,” she says. “When older and younger are in close proximity, we know that real relationships form––and ageist stereotypes begin flying out the window.”
Like Alboher, Jack Kupferman, president of the Gray Panthers, NYC Network, believes that older adults shouldn’t be the only ones involved in this collective endeavor. “It’s essential that this movement be intergenerational,” he says. “This is not a movement for older persons. It is a movement for all those aging… Perhaps, if we address the defeat of ageism as a legacy for future generations, we might be able to bring power and resources.”
Power and resources are two assets usually found in organizations and businesses, and because of this, they can help sustain the anti-ageist movement––provided, of course, that they have set standards of practice for themselves that align with the movement’s goals.
Fisher emphasizes that all establishments should “[p]ractice what they preach. The staff of any organization should be intergenerational. Members should not only be exposed to one age cohort in their organizations, institutions, schools and businesses.”
Paul Kleyman, national coordinator of the Journalists Network on Generations and editor of Generations Beat Online News, sums up the situation: “Too many American business leaders are caught today between bad attitudes and unrecognized advantages of our aging workforce,” he explains. “They need to recognize and dismiss common myths, such as that older workers cost them more on the bottom line.” He believes that businesses should invest in phased-retirement programs, which “offer more flexible work arrangements for older employers while enabling them to continue contributing their skills and knowledge to the company, while also mentoring younger employees.”
Even if individuals follow their own strategies and organizations and businesses improve their standards of practice, these efforts may not be enough to sustain an anti-ageism movement. A final piece needs to be put in place: keeping ageism clearly in the cultural consciousness by taking a public stance. But how?
“Talk to your legislators and other influential players that can make a difference,” urges Fisher. “Start a consciousness raising group on the topic of age… Encourage people to interact with each other and share their stories of age discrimination.”
According to Alboher, the media should play a responsible role as well. “Aging is one of the few experiences we all share, yet so many fear it,” she says. “It’s helpful when the media portrays older people as complex human beings, not as caricatures or sad figures.”
Adds Kleyman: “[P]ublic awareness is the best ‘disruptor’ that can lead to any hope of real change. Especially important many times is becoming aware of gaps in coverage and letting news editors and producers know that they need to explore serious issues of aging beyond the cute story on the 100-year-old’s birthday or parachute-jumping former president.”
Also important to consider is the intersectionality of ageism with other civil rights movements. Says Jacobs: “I think we are starting to make strides, but we have a long way to go. I’m also mindful that a lot of ‘-isms’ in our society desperately need to be addressed. We will all make the most impact when we work in coalitions to address differences in our society.”
Ultimately, what’s needed to keep the anti-ageism movement’s momentum going? Kupferman sums it up well: “Awareness, Education, Organization, Resources, Action.”
November 2, 2017
Article In the Los Angeles Review of Books
My We Are All Aging talk explains the roots of ageism – in society and in our own age denial – how it divides and diminishes us, and ends with a rousing call to mobilize against it. This Chair Rocks: How Ageism Warps Our View of Long Life charts my journey from apprehensive boomer to pro-aging radical and proposes an alternative to all the hand-wringing: wake up, cheer up, and push back. Aging While Female, Reimagined describes how the double whammy of ageism and sexism makes aging different for women, and what we can do about it. I also speak about the medicalization of old age, ageism and elder abuse, and how to reframe the new longevity in order to make the most of longer lives. To book me for your event, please contact the Lavin Agency.
I was encouraged by the statistics you quoted, forced to acknowledge my own ageist thoughts, and ultimately fired up to fight them in myself and others. You are on to something big!
Sarah Meredith, painter
Why can’t we stop ageism? Good question. For some answers, start looking in the mirror and look around you. For a good dialogue on the subject, visit Ashton Applewhite’s website, This Chair Rocks.
Harry R. Moody, Director of Academic Affairs, AARP
Consciousness-raising at its sharpest and most useful.
David Watts Barton, journalist and playwright
This Chair Rocks confirms our knowledge that emotional well being is abundant in later life, challenges us to face our own internalized ageism, and inspires us to envision a future in which our society is released from age-related prejudice and discrimination. And it’s fun, too!
Geriatric Mental Health Alliance of New York
Holistic, deep, urgent, and also fun.
Lenelle Moise, playwright and performer
All practitioners working with older adults need to be informed about the pernicious influences of ageism. Nobody does this better than Ashton Applewhite. Her thinking is deep, her passion infectious, and her cogent message is spot on: we urgently need to have a national conversation about ageism to raise awareness about it and to stop it.
Risa Breckman, LCSW, Executive Director, NYC Elder Abuse Center
You have found a fantastic mission: raising consciousness that older is far better than the stereotype that enslaves us all.
Jennifer Siebens, producer, CBS News
Ashton Applewhite’s plenary address at the 2013 New York State Adult Abuse Training Institute was compelling and original, and really resonated with our 400 participants. She is an articulate and committed voice for an important cause: challenging the demoralizing shadow that ageism casts across society.
Jean Callahan, Director, Brookdale Center for Healthy Aging
Octogenarians are the fastest-growing segment of our population, yet most Americans are scared stiff at the prospect of growing old. [Applewhite’s work] is a welcome and important tonic.
Dr. Robert Butler, founding director of the National Institute on Aging, coiner of the term “ageism”
We need an anti-ageist movement, for sure. Ashton is already in it.
Margaret Morganroth Gullette, author of Agewise and Aged by Culture
A beautifully delivered, provocative description of how ageism clouds our vision of what life holds in store.
Sabrina Hamilton, director, Ko Festival for the Arts
Ashton Applewhite is on a crusade. A journalist and author, her mission is to raise awareness of ageism in America and get people young and old to join her in speaking out against it.
Senior Planet
Thank you again for your terrific keynote yesterday. I heard from so many attendees that it affected them deeply. You are wise, funny, and provocative – a great combination!
Teresa Bonner, Program Director, Aroha Philanthropies
keynote at Avenidas Grand Reopening Gala
Where: 450 Bryant St. Palo Alto, CA
When: February 23, 2019 12:00 am
More info: Details here
book signing and pub party!!! This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism
Where: Barnes & Noble, 2289 Broadway, NYC
When: March 4, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Open to the public, free, accessible. Details here
talk, The Wing D.C.
Where: 1056 Thomas Jefferson St., NW, Washington, DC
When: March 6, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Details here. Members only.
talk, Aging 2.0 at AARP's The Hatchery
Where: 601 E St., NW, Washington, DC
When: March 7, 2019 05:30 pm
More info: Details here.
Author visit and talk at Denver Public Library
Where: Sam Gary Branch, 2961 Roslyn St., Denver
When: March 9, 2019 10:00 am
More info: Free and open to the public. Details here
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism
Where: Tattered Cover Bookstore 2526 East Colfax Ave., Denver
When: March 9, 2019 02:00 pm
More info: Free and open to the public. Details here
talk, King County Public Library, Kirkland Branch
Where: 308 Kirkland Ave., Kirkland
When: March 11, 2019 01:00 pm
More info: Free and open to the public. Details here.
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto against Ageism
Where: Elliott Bay Book Company, 1521 Tenth Ave, Seattle WA
When: March 11, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Open to the public, free and accessible. Details here.
talk, Wallingford Community Senior Center
Where: 4649 Sunnyside Ave N, Seattle
When: March 12, 2019 09:30 am
More info: Free and open to the public. Details here.
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism
Where: Third Place Books at Seward Park, 5041 Wilson Ave S, Seattle WA
When: March 12, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Open to the public, free, accessible. Details here.
presentation, AARP Oregon's Age Discrimination event
Where: State Capital, 900 Court St., NE, Salem, OR
When: March 13, 2019 12:00 pm
More info: Details here
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto against Ageism
Where: Powell's Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, OR
When: March 13, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Free and open to the public. Details here
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto against Ageism
Where: Books, Inc. 1491 Shattuck Ave., Berkeley, CA
When: March 14, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Free and open to the public. Details here
talk, UCBerkeley Retirement Center and Ashby Village
Where: Krutch Theater, 2601 Warring St, Berkeley, CA
When: March 15, 2019 01:00 pm
More info: Open to the public, free, accessible. Register here.
talk, Institute on Aging
Where: Weinberg Auditorium, 3575 Geary Blvd. San Francisco, CA
When: March 15, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Details here.
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto against Ageism
Where: Book Passage at Corte Madera 51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera, CA
When: March 16, 2019 04:00 pm
More info: Free and open to the public. Details here
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto against Ageism
Where: Labyrinth Books, 122 Nassau St., Princeton NJ
When: March 18, 2019 04:00 pm
More info: In partnership with Princeton Public Library. Free and open to the public. Details here.
lecture, Pittsburgh Arts & Lectures
Where: Carnegie Library Lecture Hall, 4400 Forbes Ave, Pittsburgh PA
When: March 19, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Details here.
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto against Ageism
Where: Connor Auditorium, 520 S Euclid Ave, St. Louis MO
When: March 27, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Details here.
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism
Where: Warwicks, 7812 Girard Ave., La Jolla, CA
When: April 2, 2019 07:30 pm
More info: Free and open to the public. Details here.
talk, USC Age-Friendly University Initiative
Where: USC Gerontology Auditorium, 3715 McClintock Ave. Los Angeles CA
When: April 4, 2019 06:00 pm
More info: Details here
talk, Pasadena Senior Center
Where: 85 East Holly St., Pasadena, CA
When: April 5, 2019 06:00 pm
More info: Details here.
keynote, LA Tech + Aging Conference & Expo
Where: Los Angeles Convention Center
When: April 6, 2019 09:00 am
More info: Register here
talk, The Transition Network - Long Island Chapter
Where: 401 Hempstead Ave., West Hempstead, NY
When: April 16, 2019 12:00 pm
More info: Details here.
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto against Ageism
Where: Turn of the Corkscrew Books & Wine, 110 N Park Ave., Rockville Centre, NY
When: April 16, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Free and open to the public. Details here.
talk, Ridgewood Public Library
Where: 125 N. Maple Ave., Ridgewood, NJ
When: April 30, 2019 06:30 pm
More info: Free and open to the public. Details here.
keynote, co-sponsored by NextAvenue and Ecumen
Where: Twin Cities Public Television, 172 E4th St., St Paul, MN
When: May 7, 2019 12:00 am
More info: Details here.
keynote, We Are All Aging: Taking Action to End Ageism at Ecumen conference
Where: St. Cloud River’s Edge Convention Center, St. Cloud, MN
When: May 8, 2019 12:00 am
More info: Details here
book event, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto against Ageism
Where: Housmans Bookshop, 5 Caledonian Rd, King's Cross, London
When: May 20, 2019 07:00 pm
More info: Details here.
keynote, Seasons Retirement 2019 Conference
Where: Whistler, British Columbia
When: November 26, 2019 12:00 am
More info: Details here
You’ll find many more resources on Old School, a clearinghouse of free and carefully vetted blogs, books, articles, videos, speakers, and other tools (workshops, handouts, curricula etc.) to educate people about ageism and help dismantle it.
Ageism is stereotyping and discrimination on the basis of a person’s age. We experience it any time someone assumes that we’re “too old” for something—a task, a haircut, a relationship—instead of finding out who we are and what we’re capable of. Or “too young;” ageism cuts both ways, although in a youth-obsessed society olders bear the brunt of it.
Like racism and sexism, ageism serves a social and economic purpose: to legitimize and sustain inequalities between groups. It’s not about how we look. It’s about how people in power assign meaning to how we look.
Stereotyping—the assumption that all members of a group are the same—underlies ageism (as it does all “isms”). Stereotyping is always a mistake, but especially when it comes to age, because the older we get, the more different from one another we become.
Attitudes about age—as well as race and gender—start to form in early childhood. Over a lifetime they harden into a set of truths: “just the way it is.” Unless we challenge ageist stereotypes—Old people are incompetent. Wrinkles are ugly. It’s sad to be old—we feel shame and embarrassment instead of taking pride in the accomplishment of aging. That’s internalized ageism.
By blinding us to the benefits of aging and heightening our fears, ageism makes growing older far harder than it has to be. It damages our sense of self, segregates us, diminishes our prospects, and actually shortens lives.
What are the antidotes?
I didn’t set out to become a writer. I went into publishing because I loved to read and didn’t have any better ideas. I had a weakness for the kind of jokes that make you cringe and guffaw at the same time, my boss kept telling me to write them down, and the collection turned into the best-selling paperback of 1982. I was a clue on “Jeopardy” (“Who is the author of Truly Tasteless Jokes?” Answer: “Blanche Knott.”), and as Blanche made publishing history by occupying four of the fifteen spots on the New York Times bestseller list.
My first serious book, Cutting Loose: Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well, was published by HarperCollins in 1997. Ms. magazine called it “rocket fuel for launching new lives,” and it landed me on Phyllis Schlafly’s Eagle Forum enemies list. It also got me invited to join the board of the nascent Council on Contemporary Families, a group of distinguished family scholars. I belonged to the Artist’s Network of Refuse & Resist group that originated the anti-Iraq-invasion slogan and performance pieces titled “Our Grief is Not a Cry for War.” As a contributing editor of IEEE Spectrum magazine, I went to Laos to cover a village getting internet access via a bicycle-powered computer. I was on staff at the American Museum of Natural History for 17 years, where I wrote about everything under the Sun, quitting in 2017 to become a full-time activist.
The catalyst for Cutting Loose was puzzlement: why was our notion of women’s lives after divorce (visualize depressed dame on barstool) so different from the happy and energized reality? A similar question gave rise to This Chair Rocks: why is our view of late life so unrelievedly grim when the lived reality is so different? I began blogging about aging and ageism in 2007 and started speaking on the subject in July, 2012, which is also when I started the Yo, Is This Ageist? blog. During that time I’ve been recognized by the New York Times, National Public Radio, the New Yorker, and the American Society on Aging as an expert on ageism and named as a Fellow by the Knight Foundation, the New York Times, Yale Law School, and the Royal Society for the Arts; I’ve written for Harper’s, the Guardian, and the New York Times, and I speak widely, at venues that have ranged from universities and community centers to the Library of Congress and the United Nations. In 2017 I received a standing ovation for my talk at TED 2017, their mainstage event in Vancouver.
My book, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism, was self-published in March, 2016 and will be published on the inaugural list of Celadon Books, a new division of Macmillan, Inc. in March, 2019.
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